Saturday, March 17: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 9:00pm to 12:30am *St. Patrick’s Day Show*

The Arrangement Presents: Some Woke Irish Jokes

Last St. Patrick’s Day, The Arrangement told a series of stereotypical jokes at the expense of the Irish, from whom both Phil and Drew are proudly descended. Since then, we’ve each undertaken deep personal inventories, checked our privilege, and fully unpacked the harmful impact of our words. To make amends, we even rewrote a few of last year’s most problematic jokes. Enjoy our newfound reverent irreverence with these fresh Irish zingers!

Q: What do you call an Irishman sitting on a couch?
A: His first name is Thomas, but you should address him as Mr. O’Flaherty.

Q: How many Irish women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one. Save your mansplaining.

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they don’t exist.

Q: Why did the Irishman fall out the window?
A: A heartbreakingly tragic combination of alcohol and depression.

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: It will be quite apparent.

Q: Seamus O’Shaughnessy and Father Flynn walk into a pub…
A: They drink a sensible amount and then leave.

Q: There once was a man from Nantucket…
A: Just. Stop.

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The Arrangement will be shamrocking you like a hurricane on St. Patty’s Day! Join us on Saturday, March 17 at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:00pm to 12:30am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the Irish bouzouki. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite Irish songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by The Boomtown Rats. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

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Saturday, February 17: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

The Arrangement Proudly Accept the Following Forms of Payment:

  • Cash
  • Check
  • Venmo
  • Bitcoin
  • Sacagawea dollars
  • Casino chips from Binion’s
  • Scrilla
  • Simoleons (any denomination)
  • Berkshire Hathaway shares
  • All currency from Monopoly: Shrek 2 Collector’s Edition
  • Knuts
  • Disney Dollars
  • Gift certificates from Tower Records
  • Imperial credits
  • Marlboro Miles
  • Camel Cash
  • Actual camels (limit: 5)

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Get the money (dollar, dollar bill y’all) with The Arrangement on Saturday, February 17 at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the nose flute. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Iggy Azalea. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement has rolled or will ever roll. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, January 27: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

The Arrangement Presents: Our Resolutions in 2018

  • Introduce cool new jazz monikers, Drew “Boogaloo” Fontaine and Phil “Honeybear” Rosensteel.
  • Finally diagnose our deafening speaker feedback and chronic tinnitus.
  • Really class things up with a Waterford crystal tip jar.
  • Sing “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” but really mean it this time.
  • Be more polite to freakin’ jerks.
  • Embrace Mark Twain’s dictum of “Live. Laugh. Love.”
  • Stop grossly misquoting Mark Twain.
  • Cut back to five fedoras a month.
  • Adopt a pair of rescue puppies and name them Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock.
  • Start drinking with moderation, then work our way up from there.

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Make a solemn resolution to party with The Arrangement on Saturday, January 27 at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the Latvian kūkle. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Cardi B. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

 Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, December 9: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 9:00pm to 12:30am

The Arrangement Presents: A Special Dispatch from the White House

My fellow Americans:

As your Dear Leader, I’m proud to announce that saying “Merry Christmas” is back again! And yet somehow, the War on Christmas continues. That’s why I’ve instructed Congress to hammer through special Yuletide legislation, which adds a mere 5 trillion to the deficit and enacts the following:

On Christmas Eve, every man, woman, and child will be issued a steaming mug of cocoa containing a minimum of 22 mini-marshmallows.

Our new national anthem will be “Christmas in Sarajevo” by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. As a sign of respect, all citizens are encouraged to stand with their hands over their hearts and head-bang along with it from start to finish.

All air fresheners manufactured in the United States of America will be gingerbread-scented, the way nature intended.

Some major changes on our nation’s highways and byways are also in order. Effective immediately, every car, truck, and van will be outfitted with whimsical reindeer accessories. If your vehicle cannot be modified as required by law, you may obtain a horse-drawn sleigh at your local branch of the DTV (Department of Toboggan Vehicles). You will need to provide your own horses.

The reason for the season will never be clearer, as I’ve arranged to have timeless Christmas movie classics—from Irving Berlin’s White Christmas to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad’s Jingle All the Way—projected each night on the West Wing side of the White House. The whole family is invited to huddle together on Pennsylvania Avenue and watch these cinematic masterpieces through the fence holes.

At long last, reverence, respect, piety, and virtue are back in the White House and in our country. You’re welcome, America, and Merry Christmas!
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Deck the halls with The Arrangement on Saturday, December 9th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:00pm to 12:30am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the yabahar. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Pentatonix. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, September 23: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 8:30pm to 12:00am

Wanted: Roadie for Local Acoustic Cover Band

We are looking for FUN, PASSIONATE, HIGH ENERGY individual with a proven track record in Rock Band Support to join our team. The ideal candidate would be self-starter with a can-do attitude who totally enjoys white dudes singing acoustic Janet Jackson covers.

Duties will include, but are not limited to: load-in and load-out of all equipment, selling merch, tuning instruments, repelling stage-divers, initiating mosh pits, fetching drinks, drinking drinks, general carousing, tossing out bums, welcoming in floozies, setting off pyrotechnics, maintaining our presence across all social media platforms, and perpetual air guitar.

Proficiency in the following dance modes is highly valued: The Charleston, Da Butt, Hula, Twist, Jive, Polonaise, Lindy Hop, Salsa, Jitterbug, Can-can, Merengue, Harlem Shake, and The Rosensteel Passepied.

Must be able to count, exchange, and launder money in American, Canadian, and Mexican denominations, lift 160 pounds easily, and work in an environment with moderate-to-earsplitting noise levels. Proficiency with Microsoft Word is a plus, but may be supplemented with expertise in Mario Kart. Salary is commensurate with experience and will probably come out of a tip jar. Contact us to schedule your interview today!
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Explore an exciting new career opportunity in bar rockage with The Arrangement on Saturday, September 23rd at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 8:30pm to midnight!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the dilruba. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by ZAYN. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

 

Saturday, August 26: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

The Arrangement Go Door to Door

Good afternoon, sir or madam. First, I’d like to sincerely apologize for interrupting your mid-afternoon nap by aggressively ringing the doorbell. But since you’re up, we were just wondering if you had a few moments to talk about the best acoustic cover duo ever.

You’re probably already familiar with The Arrangement, as we’ve been papering your neighborhood with flyers and posted propaganda—not to mention driving up and down your street with our windows down, blasting their tunes. Yes, we now realize that 11:30 PM on a school night was not the ideal time to do this. We probably won’t be doing it again.

So what, if any, are your musical values? Rock? Pop? R&B? Oldies? Well, The Arrangement plays all of them. Don’t like any of those? Neither do we! We’re not even a band, in fact. We’re an ice cream emporium, and you’ll love our mint chocolate chip.

In any case, do you really know how great these Arrangement guys are? Take Phil here. He’s a genius on the drums and plays rhythms that would make Questlove weep. Phil had to get his number unlisted just because Sheila E. would NOT stop calling him. We’re talking 16 times a night. And Drew? There are probably only four or five vocalists out there better than him, and two of them are named…K-Ci and JoJo.

Are you aware that you get a $2400 tax credit just by listening to The Arrangement play live? It’s true. Yeah, it’s in the fine print on your 1040EZ. Also, you might also be subject to excessive tax penalties if you don’t attend one of their live shows. No need to verify any of that with the IRS.

Thanks very much for your time. With your permission, we’d like to leave you with this box of CDs and Arrangement-branded merchandise, which we hope you’ll pass along to any of your children, neighbors, friends, coworkers, consiglieres, spiritual advisors, therapists, or anyone else who might show even the slightest interest. We’ll see you same time tomorrow? No? It’s cool.

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The Arrangement will be forcefully marketing their unique brand of rockage on Saturday, August 24 at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the Persian oud. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Luis Fonzi. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. ¡Yee-ikes!

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Saturday, July 8: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

RING OF FIRE: THE ARRANGEMENT’S HOTTEST GIGS EVER

Ladies and gentlemen, the summer sizzle is upon us! As the mercury continues to rise, let’s take a quick look back at some of The Arrangement’s hottest gigs of all time.

July 17, 2007 (Tempe, Arizona) Temps soared into the upper 120’s at Phil’s second cousin’s nephew’s pool party. Three Gatorade transfusions and an ice bath were required by the group to finish out the second set. The third set was a sad farce, consisting entirely of an improvised song by Drew called “It’s Too Hot and I Really Think I Might Be Dying (Sweet Jaysus)”.

September 6, 2011 (Miami, Florida) Opening of Johnny Nitro’s Tequileria. A bottle service sparkler mishap at roughly 11:30PM soon enveloped the entire club in flames. Without missing a beat, Phil launched into an acapella rendition of “Burning Down the House”. The remaining audience went wild, but Phil sustained third-degree burns to his vocal chords for his heroic efforts.

August 12, 2016 (Rio Grande Valley, Texas) The Brotherhood of Hibachi Chefs Local Union 392 Summer Picnic was simply a bad idea from the start. We really should’ve seen that one coming.

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Here come the Hot Steppers: The Arrangement’s bringing the heat on Saturday, July 8 at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the flutina. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Buster Poindexter. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.