The Arrangement Presents: Voting Advice
Please don’t let our headline mislead you. It’s not like cranking out song after song of acoustic brilliance necessarily qualifies The Arrangement to tell you what politician or plutocrat should be running this country come November. All we ask is that you carefully examine The Arrangement’s qualifications below. Could Phil and Drew actually lead our republic into an unheralded era of wealth, prosperity, and righteous rockage unseen since the Pax Romana? Let’s break it down.
Phil for President
Upsides: Creative genius. Just became a father, so he connects with the youth vote, can function on almost no sleep, and would graciously accept all campaign contributions. Drums AND sings, which both male and female voters find highly desirable. Complete lack of political experience, which is apparently considered an irresistible asset these days.
Downsides: Only this: Let’s say Iran and the U.S. are locked in a nuclear face-off and President Rosensteel’s finger is on the proverbial Big Red Button. C’mon, like he’s not gonna hit that button and HIT IT HARD? He’s a drummer. He’d probably set off World Wars 3 through 6 just by absentmindedly tapping out the drum fill from “In the Air Tonight.” Sure, it might sound undeniably awesome, and would easily justify the nuisances of total nuclear holocaust. But still…kind of a downside.
Drew for President
Upsides: Sings and plays the guitar at least as well as former presidential candidate Martin O’Malley. Wants to make tuition at public colleges and universities free, subsidized entirely by taxing the Kardashians. Uses his personal email server for personal emails.
Downsides: As lead singer and lead guitarist, he’s undoubtedly a power-hungry narcissist; like Axl Rose, Ariana Grande, and Frank Underwood all rolled into one. Still needs lyric sheets for songs he’s been singing for over 10 years. Fedora-buying habit would substantially increase the national deficit.
So when you head to the polls this November, dear friends, please consider writing in “The Arrangement” for president. Phil and Drew will sort out the whole “who gets to actually be president” thing after we win the White House. Trust us—we’ve got a plan, and it’s gonna be classy and just TREMENDOUS.
Redefine “party politics” with The Arrangement on Saturday, April 23rd at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 8:30pm to 12:30am! Brand new Ellicott City venue, same great Arrangement!
The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the pinkillu. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Nick Jonas. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.
Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.
Have any questions? Please holla.