Saturday, May 13: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

Lies from the Stage: An Annotated Listing of Falsehoods, Fictions, and Exaggerations Made by The Arrangement

“We are gonna rock it ALL. NIGHT. LONG!” – Truthfully, we have never rocked it past 2:15 AM.

“C’MON EVERYBODY—WE CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!” – We can hear you just fine.

“The Arrangement is huge in Japan.” – We are considerably beloved there, but “huge” is overstating it.

“This is gonna be our last song tonight.” – This is not gonna be our last song. We will play no less than seven encores.

“Okay, seriously, one more song.” – Nope.

“Really, last song.” – Not even close.

“That’s got to be the first time I’ve ever fallen off a stage.” – On that particular night, maybe.

“Sorry, there’s a $150 required donation for anything by The Chainsmokers.” – Actually, that one is true.

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Catch The Arrangement on Saturday, May 13th at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the clarinette d’amour. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Migos. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls, although Drew’s plenty bad and Phil’s plenty boujee. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, April 8: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

Real Songs The Arrangement Refuses to Cover, Based Solely on Their Titles

“I Luh Ya Papi” – Jennifer Lopez

“You’re So Sweet, Horseflies Keep Hangin’ ‘Round Your Face” – Neil Diamond

“Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family” – David Bowie

“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” – Loretta Lynn

“He Went to Sleep and the Hogs Ate Him” – The Stanley Brothers

“Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” – The Beatles

“You Make My Pants Want to Get Up and Dance” – Dr. Hook

“She’s Actin’ Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles)” – Gary Stewart

And of course…

“Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” – John Denver

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Rewrite your night for the better with The Arrangement this Saturday, April 8^th at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the horsehead fiddle. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by The Chainsmokers. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls when we’re in the backseat of your Rover. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, February 11: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 9:30pm to 12:30am

The Arrangement Write a Modern Blues Song

Woke up this morning
My baby left at half-past-three
She Brexited out my life
And drove my Uber into a tree

She binge-watched all my shows
And spoiled them for thrills
She always came for Netflix
But never stayed to chill

Yeah, she’s a cold-hearted woman
Oh, such a savage bae
She traded in my Hamilton tickets
For a pumpkin spice latte

*Extended guitar solo by Drew*

Since the day I first swiped right
She’s been tearing me apart
She got ten thousand Fitbit steps
By stomping on my heart

(Now that just ain’t right…)

*Extended keytar solo by Phil*

I texted her “I love you”
On days we were apart
She replied with six emojis
And none of them were hearts

She’s streaming on Facebook Live
From dusk until the dawn
But when I’m down and out
She’s harder to find than Pokémon

Yeah, she’s a cold-hearted woman
Oh, such a savage bae
She traded in my Hamilton tickets
For a pumpkin spice latte

*Extended outro solos*

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Shake your moneymaker with The Arrangement on Saturday, February 11^th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:00pm to 12:30am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the sackbut. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Pinetop Perkins. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, December 10: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench *HOLIDAY SHOW* from 9:30pm to 12:30am

Drew Reviews the Holiday Scented Candle Collection from Bath & Body Works

Winter Candy Apple – Oh, you thought candied apples were merely the domain of fall harvest parties? Like hell, Pere Noel. With red apple, candied orange, maple leaf, and fresh cinnamon, this smells like something you should sip out of an unlabeled brown jug before going a-wassailing.

Frosted Cranberry – Powerful top notes of berry with a woodsy base. Like you’d just spilled a decanter of Ocean Spray onto fresh parquet flooring.

Smoked Vanilla – A candle that literally reeks of smoke when you burn it. This is the Krampus of Christmas candles.

Fresh Sparkling Snow – Not to be confused with Vanilla Snowflake, which is a pungent abomination. Fresh Sparkling Snow’s tones of holiday pear, icy melon, and sparkling sugarberry will whisk you away on a horse-drawn sleigh ride of aromatic fancy. This one smells like fabric softener…for your soul.

Twisted Peppermint – Basically the opposite. Approximates the herbal bouquet of a warm mug of Vicks VapoRub and Rumple Minze, thrown onto a roaring fire.

Fresh Balsam – Indescribably delightful. This candle deserves its own damn holiday. A soothing balm of coniferous essence. The magic of Christmas has been born anew in my heart.

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You bring the bright copper kettles, we’ll bring the warm woolen mittens to The Arrangement’s Holiday Show on Saturday, December 10th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:30pm to 12:30am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the crumhorn. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite holiday songs. Unless all your favorite holiday songs are by Alvin and the Chipmunks. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes and fa-la-la-la-la.

Friday, October 14: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm

Rejected Halloween Costumes for The Arrangement: 2016 Edition

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
• The UK and the European Union
• Ryan Lochte and a gas station bathroom mirror
• Pikachu and Jigglypuff
• Hodor and a Door
• Two Baskets of Deplorables

Eat, drink, and be scary with The Arrangement on Friday, October 14th at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 7:00pm to 11:00pm!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and possibly the bazantar. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Engelbert Humperdinck. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions? Please holla.

Saturday, September 24: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 8:30pm to 12:00am *TENTH ANNIVERSARY SHOW*

The Arrangement’s Resolutions for the Next Ten Years

 The Arrangement played its very first show on September 11, 2006 at The Judge’s Bench in Ellicott City. So this month marks our tenth anniversary! Having gloriously rocked for one full decade, we’re proud to present our following resolutions for the next ten years:

1. Headline at Coachella. If The Black Keys can do it, we can do it.
2. By any means necessary, obtain the rights to TheArrangement.com (currently owned by a rustic Western furniture dealer in Houston).
3. Portray the high school prom band in a blockbuster teenage rom-com.
4. Live. Laugh. Love. Liquor.
5. Add the following genres to our repertoire: chillwave, vaporwave, lo-fi, glo-fi, hardcore, horrorcore, space rock, math rock, post-rock, post-post-rock, dub reggae, Azerbaijani jazz, and country.
6. Finally perform our full-length, two-man version of Hamilton.
7. Three words: Matching Arrangement Speedos.

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Come celebrate a decade of decadence with The Arrangement on Saturday, September 24th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 8:30pm to 12:00am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the Tibetan prayer gong. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Dierks Bentley. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Di-erks? Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.

And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Saturday, July 9th: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 8:30pm to 12:00am

Summer Blockbusters Improved by the Addition of The Arrangement to the Plot

Titanic
Setting: Port of Southhampton, 1912. A teenaged Rose (Kate Winslet) is captivated by a duo of street musicians, particularly the waifish Phil, who plays “My Heart Will Go On” on penny whistle. Rose immediately hocks her Titanic ticket and spends her remaining years following the Arrangement around on tours of South East England’s finer pubs. Meanwhile, aboard the Titanic, Leo DiCaprio and Billy Zane become best friends and survive the shipwreck. They vow to take up treasure hunting, and eventually discover a trove of “Best Actor” Oscars at the bottom of the ocean.

Jaws
After a chance encounter with The Arrangement, oceanographer Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) hastily abandons his post on Amity Island to start his own acoustic cover band. He brazenly challenges The Arrangement to a Battle of the Bands, with the loser leaving town forever. Twist: Hooper is face-meltingly good at guitar and sings like he’s the lovechild of Freddie Mercury and Adele. Spoiler: The Arrangement win the battle anyway, thanks to a deciding vote by Police Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider). There’s also a minor subplot involving a shark of some kind.

Independence Day
Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, Randy Quaid and Vivica A. Fox battle to save Earth from a massive alien invasion. President Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman) delivers the most inspirational speech in Hollywood/human history. Further upping the patriotic ante, The Arrangement suddenly arrive in Air Force One, sporting American flag jumpsuits. All the film’s stars gather around a single microphone to belt out Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over” through the White House’s PA system. Overcome with great malaise, the aliens deactivate their mother-ship’s death ray and head home. Drew delivers the greatest end-credits rap since Bobby Brown in Ghostbusters II.

The Lone Ranger
Ehh, even The Arrangement’s not fixing that one.

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Queue up and get your popcorn ready for The Arrangement’s cinematic displays of musical brilliance on Saturday, July 9th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 8:30pm to 12:00am! Tickets are sure to sell-out, in that we won’t sell tickets at all and it’s totally free.

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the tabla. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by DJ Khaled. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, April 23: The Arrangement @ T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 8:30pm to 12:30am

The Arrangement Presents: Voting Advice

Please don’t let our headline mislead you. It’s not like cranking out song after song of acoustic brilliance necessarily qualifies The Arrangement to tell you what politician or plutocrat should be running this country come November. All we ask is that you carefully examine The Arrangement’s qualifications below. Could Phil and Drew actually lead our republic into an unheralded era of wealth, prosperity, and righteous rockage unseen since the Pax Romana? Let’s break it down.

Phil for President

Upsides: Creative genius. Just became a father, so he connects with the youth vote, can function on almost no sleep, and would graciously accept all campaign contributions. Drums AND sings, which both male and female voters find highly desirable. Complete lack of political experience, which is apparently considered an irresistible asset these days.

Downsides: Only this: Let’s say Iran and the U.S. are locked in a nuclear face-off and President Rosensteel’s finger is on the proverbial Big Red Button. C’mon, like he’s not gonna hit that button and HIT IT HARD? He’s a drummer. He’d probably set off World Wars 3 through 6 just by absentmindedly tapping out the drum fill from “In the Air Tonight.” Sure, it might sound undeniably awesome, and would easily justify the nuisances of total nuclear holocaust. But still…kind of a downside.

Drew for President

Upsides: Sings and plays the guitar at least as well as former presidential candidate Martin O’Malley. Wants to make tuition at public colleges and universities free, subsidized entirely by taxing the Kardashians. Uses his personal email server for personal emails.

Downsides: As lead singer and lead guitarist, he’s undoubtedly a power-hungry narcissist; like Axl Rose, Ariana Grande, and Frank Underwood all rolled into one. Still needs lyric sheets for songs he’s been singing for over 10 years. Fedora-buying habit would substantially increase the national deficit.

So when you head to the polls this November, dear friends, please consider writing in “The Arrangement” for president. Phil and Drew will sort out the whole “who gets to actually be president” thing after we win the White House. Trust us—we’ve got a plan, and it’s gonna be classy and just TREMENDOUS.
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Redefine “party politics” with The Arrangement on Saturday, April 23^rd at T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse from 8:30pm to 12:30am! Brand new Ellicott City venue, same great Arrangement!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the pinkillu. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Nick Jonas. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And T-Bonz Grille & Taphouse here: http://tbonzgrille.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, January 9: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 9:30pm to 12:30am

The Arrangement Presents: “Right Now It’s Colder Than…”

• The south end of a northbound polar bear
• Steve Harvey at the Miss Universe pageant
• A holiday season with no Arrangement shows
• Vladmir Putin on ice
• An Eskimo drunk on liquid nitrogen singing “Let It Go”

Longing for those endless summer nights Richard Marx is always singing about? Join The  Arrangement this Saturday, January 9^th at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:30pm to 12:30am! We’ll crank up the heat faster than an adult contemporary sax solo.

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the lithophone. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Adele. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. We just can’t do THAT VOICE justice. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.
And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.

Saturday, October 10: The Arrangement @ The Judge’s Bench from 9:30pm to 12:30am

Rejected Halloween Costumes for The Arrangement: 2015 Edition

• Hurricane Phil and Tropical Depression Drew
• Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
• “Sexy” Phil & Drew
• ”Unsexy” Phil & Drew
• Phillary Clinton and Marco Drewbio
• A couple of deflated footballs

Eat, drink, and be scary with The Arrangement on Saturday, October 10 at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 9:30pm to 12:30am!

The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and possibly the ocarina. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Silentó. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. We’ll whip, but we refuse to nae nae. Yee-ikes.

Check out The Arrangement here: http://thearrangementband.com.

And the Judge’s Bench Pub here: http://judgesbenchpub.com.

Have any questions?  Please holla.