Statement from The Arrangement Regarding Their E! True Hollywood Story Episode
A recent broadcast of the series E! True Hollywood Story explored the rise, fall, and pleasant equilibrium of The Arrangement’s expansive musical career. Regrettably, this episode also resorted to flagrant sensationalism and rampant dramatization at the expense of truth. Misters Rosensteel and Fontaine wish to hereby contest the following portrayals in that episode:
- At no point in their careers have Drew and Phil ghostwritten songs for Gucci Mane, Glenn Danzig, or Pat Benatar, nor for a “supergroup” consisting of all three artists.
- Drew never bit the head off a live bat while on stage. But he has bitten the head off a five-pound gummy bear while on stage, on multiple occasions.
- Myth: When The Arrangement play “Revolution 9” by the Beatles backward, you can clearly hear secret coded messages. Truth: The Arrangement has never figured out how to play that song forward, much less backward.
- Phil and Drew did not publicly claim to be “bigger than Jesus,” although they constantly claim to be “bigger than Jesus Jones.”
- The Arrangement does not annually travel to a clinic in Switzerland to have all their blood replaced with clean blood. Rather, they obtain their clean blood through standard methods—using a mail-order offer in the back of Rolling Stone magazine.
To seek redress for these damaging fabrications, The Arrangement have retained the law offices of Cohen, Dwin, Snyder, Eisenberg, Katzenberg, Saiontz, Kirk & Miles to represent us in a defamation suit against the E! Network. We will gladly disburse any monetary damages to our fans at a later show, in the form of thrown wads of cash. For all non-alternative Arrangement facts, please go straight to the source: our official blog site.
Drew & Phil
While you shouldn’t believe everything that you hear, this one’s the stone-cold truth: The Arrangement will be rocking this Saturday, June 3 at the Judge’s Bench Pub from 8:30pm to 12:00am!
The Arrangement features Mr. Drew Fontaine on acoustic guitar and vocals, accompanied by Mr. Phil Rosensteel on djembe, backing vocals, cymbals, penny whistle, and quite possibly the double bell euphonium. They play fun and inventive covers of all your favorite songs. Unless all your favorite songs are by Lil Yachty. Sorry, but that’s just not how The Arrangement rolls. Yee-ikes.
Have any questions? Please holla.